it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
