you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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