nut hugger
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Welp...herpes.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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