shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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