So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
