Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
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didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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