I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
