News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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