Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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