I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
