just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
please don't ironically join a cult
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