there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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