What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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