At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
