my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
In America we eat man semen.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
