So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
