seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
