Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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