so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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