Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
