his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
