marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I love having hate sex.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
