Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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