my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
