I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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