That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
