The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
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just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
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If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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