Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
