ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize