i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
