At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
