I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
