I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize