But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Soap is not a condiment
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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