Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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