..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He passed out mid-signature
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
