I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Everything about him screamed your future.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
