i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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