Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
