remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
