was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
