If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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