WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
