When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
