you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
