and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.