Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
