Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
