Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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