Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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