I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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