she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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