Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
