Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
