I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
