my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
