dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
