he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
