then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
