sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
