I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It's Friday. Sex?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I love having hate sex.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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