gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Randomize
