for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
