Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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