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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.

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• (516): View more from New York

  everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down

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• (619): View more from California

  Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (559): View more from California

  so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell

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• (949): View more from California

  They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED

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