well you can't waste a boner
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Who died my cat blue again?