He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
