I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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